In my days of being a bachelor I was always proud of achieving as much as I could during a weekend, and ‘achieving’ to me was usually working on a web-related project, writing an article or completing a computer game. In fact, I was so proud of my achievements that I’d create an elaborate year in review stats page and try to improve on it every year.

I would keep track of how many games I’d completed, films and television series I’d watched, even counted the number of images I posted to Instagram every year. But something happened at the end of 2016 which drastically affected the stats for 2017. The number of games played decreased by 57% between 2016 and 2017, side projects about 40% and films, stayed just about the same. Avid readers of this blog will know that August 2016 was the date I met my lovely wife-to-be Hannah who has changed me for the better in many ways and after over 10 months of marriage (early days I know), there still a part of me that wishes I could spend more time playing games and working on side projects.

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

Genesis 2:24 ESV

The verse above located at the end of Genesis 2 was written after God had created a woman from the rib of Adam during the beginnings of the world. This verse is also quoted in Matthew 19:5 and Ephesians 5:31. It’s obvious from reading the verse that God wanted Adam and Eve to be 'one flesh’ even though they were two different people and also, this verse wasn’t written for Adam as he didn’t have any parents but for those who would come after him. I believe it’s not only referring to a physical parental departure but also a mental one, leaving the single life and independent living to become two people of one mind. Say someone were to move out of his parent’s place and live on his own for a few years before getting married. If that person still carried the mindset they had when they were living on their own into marriage then they haven’t really 'left their father and mother’, even though there has been a physical departure, there hasn’t really been a mental one.

So what does that mean for my scenario? Should I throw out any desire to play video games or engage in my own side projects because that’s not what Hannah is into? Not entirely, but I do those things a lot less than I did when I was single. Communication is key–and I believe as long as those things aren’t hindering a growing relationship with my wife and Christ, then they’re okay to engage in every once in a while. As long as they don’t overtake my life and become the 'be all and end all’. And if for somehow that ends up happening, then I hope my wife will be the first person to tell me I need to straighten realign my focus.

Oliver